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Self-esteem: Follow steps to building your self worth

When you look in the mirror, what do you see? Do you see someone you trust, care and believe in? Or do you see a default person always making mistakes? The truth of the matter is that whoever you see has nothing to do with what you look at visually. 

It has nothing to do with what your little sense says about you at any time. That faint sound you hear in your head, which constantly gives its opinion on everything. That is called self-esteem. Your self-esteem can be either your best friend or your worst enemy. 
Self-esteem: Follow steps to building your self worth


 If from time to time your self-esteem does not consider you a valuable person, here is how you can increase your self-esteem and trust yourself more.

Self-esteem: Follow steps to building your self worth

 1. Identify disturbing situations or situations


Think of situations or situations that seem to underestimate yourself. Common triggers for this may include:

  •     Presentation at work or school
  •     A crisis at work or home
  •     The trouble with a life partner, close person, coworker, or anyone else close to you.
  •     A change in life roles or conditions of life, such as losing a job or leaving a child home

2. Be aware of ideas and beliefs


If you identify disturbing situations, pay attention to how you think about them. This includes self-talk - what to tell yourself - and your interpretation of the situation. Your thoughts and beliefs may be positive, negative or neutral. It may be rational, according to causes or facts, or irrational, according to wrong ideas.


3. Challenge negative or inaccurate thinking


Your initial thoughts may not be the only possible way to see the situation - so the accuracy of these ideas must be tested. Ask yourself if your thoughts are consistent with facts and logic or if other interpretations of the situation are reasonable.

It should be recognized that determining the inaccuracy of thinking can be difficult. The thoughts and beliefs that have long dominated you can seem natural and real, although many are just opinions or perceptions.
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Also, pay attention to the pattern of thinking that weakens self-esteem:

    The way of thinking "all or nothing". In this way, things are seen either all good or all bad. For example, "If I don't succeed in this job, I'm totally unsuccessful."


    Mental filtration. You only see and focus negatives, and distort your perspective towards a person or situation. For example, "I made a mistake with this report and now everyone will notice that I am not eligible for this job."  Turn the positives into negatives.


 Reject your achievements and other positive experience by insisting that it is worth nothing. For example, "I did well with that test just because it's easy."

    Draw negative ends. It reaches negative conclusions when there is little evidence to support it or even there is no evidence. For example, "My girlfriend didn't answer the email, I must have done something that made her angry at me."


    Make sense of facts. Where feelings and beliefs are mixed with facts. For example, "I feel like I'm a failure, so I must be a failure."  Bad self-talk. You underestimate yourself, reduce your stature, or use self-deprecating jokes.


 This may result from an overreaction to a situation, such as making a mistake. For example, "I don't deserve anything better than this."

4. Modify your thoughts and beliefs


Now replace your negative or inaccurate thoughts with a precise and constructive one. Try the following strategies:

    Use hopeful phrases. Treat yourself with kindness and encouragement. Pessimism may be a self-fulfilling prophecy. For example, if you thought your presentation wouldn't be good, you might actually get stuck in his performance. Try telling yourself things like, "Even if it's difficult, I can handle that."  Forgive yourself.


 Everyone makes mistakes - mistakes do not have a permanent reflection on your person. They are separate moments of your life. Tell yourself, "I made a mistake, but that doesn't make me a bad person."

    Avoid "must" and "must" phrases. If you find your thoughts full of those words, you may place irrational requirements on yourself - or on others. Deleting these words from your thinking can guide you to more realistic expectations.


    Focus on what is positive. Think about the good things in your life. Remind yourself of things that went well recently. Think about the skills you used to adapt to difficult 

 situations.


  •     Rename annoying thoughts.


 You do not need to react negatively to negative thoughts. Instead, think of negative thoughts as a sign of starting a new and healthy pattern of ideas. Ask yourself, "What can I think and do to make this less stressful?"  Encourage yourself. 

  • Trust yourself to make positive changes. 

For example, "My presentation might not have been excellent, but my colleagues continued to ask questions and get involved - which means I achieved my goal."

You can also try the following steps, according to the acceptance and commitment treatment:
1. Identify disturbing situations or situations

Again, think about situations or situations that seem to underestimate yourself. If you identify disturbing situations, pay attention to how you think about them.


  •  Undo your thoughts


Repeat your negative thoughts several times or write them down in an unusual way, such as writing them with your non-writing hand. Imagine seeing your negative thoughts written on different things. And there may be quotations in your mind.

These exercises may help you to undo and monitor your thoughts and beliefs. Instead of trying to change your thoughts, distance yourself from them. Note that they are nothing but words.

  •  Accept your thoughts


Instead of fighting, resisting, or overburdening negative thoughts or feelings, accept them. You don't have to like her, I might feel it.

Negative thoughts do not need to be controlled, changed, or acted upon. Try to reduce the power of negative thoughts and their impact on your behavior.

These steps may seem inconvenient to start with, but it is easy to get involved. As you begin to define ideas and beliefs that contribute to underestimating yourself, you can resist them or change the way you think about them. 


This will help you estimate your worth as a person. As your self-esteem increases, your confidence and happiness may increase.

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